I think one of the hardest parts of growing is realizing that there is no moment when life suddenly makes perfect sense.
There is no magical age when every question answers itself. No point where you wake up completely certain about your career, your relationships, your purpose, your future, and every decision waiting in front of you.
Sometimes, you are simply figuring life out while living it.
And maybe that is not failure. Maybe that is being human.
Querying has taught me that. You can spend months writing a book, rewriting it, trimming it, polishing a letter, researching agents, and doing everything you know how to do—and still have no idea which email might become a yes. Sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes there is no answer at all. Then you have to decide whether uncertainty gets to be the reason you stop.
Dating can feel the same way.
You can be honest about what you want, try to make good choices, and still meet people who are unsure, inconsistent, or simply not meant for you. You can learn what you deserve and still feel disappointed when something does not work. Growth does not make you immune to hurt. It teaches you that hurt does not have to make every decision for you.
Not knowing what comes next does not mean you are going nowhere.
Growing pains show up everywhere. They appear when the version of you that survived yesterday no longer fits the life you are trying to build tomorrow. They show up when you outgrow people, habits, plans, or expectations you once thought would last forever.
That space in between can be uncomfortable. You are no longer who you were, but you cannot fully see who you are becoming yet.
I am learning that I do not need every answer before I take the next step.
I can send the query without knowing how it will be received. I can walk away from a connection that is not right without knowing when the right one will appear. I can build a website, record a podcast, write another chapter, or try something new without a guarantee that it will become what I imagined.
The next step is still a step.
Maybe we put too much pressure on ourselves to have a complete plan. We look at other people's lives from the outside and assume they know exactly what they are doing. Most of us are learning as we go, changing our minds, recovering from mistakes, and trying again with whatever wisdom the last season gave us.
It is okay if your plan changes. It is okay if you need more time. It is okay if the dream takes longer than you expected or if the path toward it looks nothing like the one you pictured.
You are not behind because you are still becoming. You are not lost because you had to take a different road. And you are not failing simply because you do not know how the story ends.
You do not have to have it all figured out. You only have to keep going.
Keep learning. Keep creating. Keep choosing yourself. Keep trusting that every small step is carrying you somewhere—even if you cannot see the whole road yet.
One day, you may look back and realize that the season when you felt the most uncertain was also the season when you became brave enough to build a life that actually belonged to you.
Until then, take the next step. That is enough. 🤎
—Karinna Sorelle ♥