Why I Chose to Write Until You Found Me

There are two real reasons I chose to write Until You Found Me.

The first is simple: I really want that kind of love.

I wanted to write about a love that chooses you even when life is messy. Not only when you are at your best. Not only when everything is easy, you have all the answers, and your life looks perfectly put together. I mean the kind of love that sees the complicated parts, the fear, the uncertainty, and the things you are still trying to heal—and chooses you anyway.

That is the kind of love I wanted Kydia to experience. I did not want her to have to become a perfect version of herself before she could be worthy of being loved. I wanted her to be seen as she was and to discover what it feels like when someone does not run the moment life becomes difficult.

Kross is not meant to magically fix everything for her. Love cannot do all of the healing for us, and another person cannot save us from every hard thing. But there is something powerful about having someone beside you who makes it clear that you do not have to face every messy part alone.

I wanted to write a love that did not disappear when life stopped being easy.

The second reason took me longer to understand.

I unknowingly wrote this book after going through a situation that mirrors Kydia's. I was not sitting down trying to retell my life, and I did not intentionally create her as a version of me. At the time, I was simply writing her story. But when I looked back, I could see pieces of what I had experienced inside the emotions, choices, and circumstances I had given her.

It is funny how writing can reveal something before you are ready to name it. Sometimes your mind calls it fiction while your heart is quietly working through something real.

That realization made me understand Kydia differently. It also made me understand why certain parts of her story came so naturally and why I felt so protective of her. Even though her story is her own, some of the feelings underneath it came from a place in me that already knew what that kind of situation felt like.

Maybe that is why I gave her the kind of love I wanted so badly—the kind that stays, reassures, and chooses you through the mess. Through Kydia and Kross, I could explore what it might feel like for love not to become one more uncertain thing, but to be a place where you are genuinely seen.

Until You Found Me is not my autobiography. Kydia is not me, and Kross is not someone pulled directly from my life. But the truth underneath their story is personal: the desire to be chosen, the fear that life can become too complicated for someone to stay, and the hope that real love can meet you in the middle of all of it.

That is why I chose to write this book. Part of me was creating the love story I wanted to read. Another part of me was making sense of something I had lived through without even realizing it yet.

Sometimes we write the story. And sometimes, somewhere along the way, the story shows us what we were trying to say.