You mean to tell me we have phones that can recognize our faces, watches that tell us when to stand up, and apps that remind us to drink water—but somehow, “Hey, I’m not interested anymore” is still too difficult to type? 😂
I’m confused.
Because how do we go from good morning texts and conversations about your childhood to me wondering whether I need to check the local news?
Sir. Are you okay? Did something happen? Or did you just decide that communicating was no longer part of your phone plan?
And before somebody says, “Women ghost too”—yes. They do. But today, I’m talking about the grown men who will tell you they value communication and then disappear in the middle of a conversation.
The same men who say, “I’m too old to play games.”
Apparently, hide-and-seek doesn’t count.
How did we get here?
What gets me is how normal everything can seem right before someone disappears.
You’re talking regularly. He’s asking questions. You might have plans. There’s enough interest for you to think, “Okay, maybe this could go somewhere.”
Then nothing.
Now you’re looking at the last conversation like it contains clues.
Was it something I said? Did I miss a shift in the energy? Was that joke not funny? Should I have used a different emoji?
Look at me, investigating punctuation because a grown man couldn’t send a sentence.
And yes, sometimes you can feel somebody pulling away. The replies get shorter. You’re always starting the conversation. Every attempt to make plans becomes “We’ll see.”
But other times, the person making all that effort is the same person who disappears. That’s what makes it confusing. You didn’t invent the interest. You were responding to what they were showing you.
You’re allowed to change your mind
Let me be clear: I don’t think somebody owes me a relationship because we talked for a few weeks or went on a date.
You can decide we’re not compatible. You can realize you’re not ready to date. You can meet me and think, “She talks entirely too much.”
Fair. I do have a podcast. There were signs. 😂
I can handle you not being interested. I would appreciate knowing before I spend another afternoon thinking we’re still making plans.
Something as simple as, “I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, but I don’t see this going any further,” gives the other person an answer.
Will it feel good to receive? Probably not. Nobody wakes up excited to get rejected before lunch.
But at least I know where we stand. I can be disappointed, call my sister, have my little moment, and keep it moving.
Busy people can still communicate
I understand being busy. People have jobs, family responsibilities, difficult days, and moments when answering messages feels like another task.
I’m not expecting somebody to text me through a work meeting or provide an explanation every time they take a nap.
Please take your nap. I support rest.
But if we’ve been talking consistently and you suddenly disappear for days, I’m going to notice.
And if you come back with “My bad, I’ve been busy,” while also posting your lunch, sharing memes, and giving a detailed review of last night’s game, I might have a few questions.
You had time to tell the internet that your wings were cold.
Okay.
If you don’t have the time or interest to keep getting to know someone, you can say that. Let them decide what to do with the information.
The silence can have you doing too much
The part I really don’t like is what happens after you realize somebody might be ghosting you.
You start trying to figure out whether you should text again. You don’t want to seem pushy, but maybe they didn’t see the first message. Maybe they’re going through something. Maybe you should check in.
Then you feel silly for caring.
I don’t think caring makes you silly. If you enjoyed talking to somebody, of course you’re going to wonder what happened when they disappear.
Sending one check-in doesn’t make you desperate, either. You were having a conversation. Following up is a normal thing to do.
But there comes a point when checking in starts turning into trying to convince somebody to answer you. And personally, that’s where I need to put the phone down.
I have things to do. There is probably laundry in my dryer that has been waiting on me longer than this man has. Let me go deal with somebody who actually needs me. 😂
And then they come back
“Hey, stranger.”
Stranger?
You made us strangers. I was here.
Or they send “Hey, beautiful” three weeks later like the conversation has been sitting on pause while they went to get a snack.
Now, maybe there’s a real explanation. Life happens, and I’m willing to hear somebody out.
But I would need us to acknowledge the part where you disappeared. We can’t just skip over that and ask how my weekend was.
If I’m considering getting to know you again, I need to understand what happened and whether anything has changed. Otherwise, I’m signing myself up to have the exact same confusing experience twice.
And I don’t need a sequel to every situation.
A little honesty would save everybody time
I know telling somebody you’re no longer interested can be uncomfortable. You might worry about hurting their feelings or getting a response you don’t want to deal with.
And there are situations where stopping contact makes sense. If somebody has been threatening, disrespectful, or unwilling to accept a boundary, I understand leaving that conversation alone.
I’m talking about two people who have been getting to know each other, where nothing like that has happened, and one person quietly decides the other person no longer needs an answer.
We’re grown. We should be able to have a brief, uncomfortable conversation.
You don’t have to list everything you didn’t like about somebody. Please don’t send a performance review after two dates. A simple, honest message will do.
And for those of us on the receiving end, we might never get that message. That’s frustrating, especially when we thought things were going well.
But I don’t want to spend weeks waiting for somebody to explain why they stopped talking to me. I can wish they had handled it differently and still decide I’m done waiting.
If he comes back, I can decide how I feel about it then. Today, I’m getting on with my life.
Because it is 2026, and I would really love for “good communication” to make it out of the dating profile and into the conversation.
Have you ever had somebody ghost you and then come back like nothing happened? Because I know I’m not the only one who has received a “Hey, stranger.” 😂