Have you ever asked for something better and then caught yourself looking at a new opportunity like, “Okay, but what exactly am I supposed to do with this?” 😂
Because you had a picture in your head. You knew what better would look like, how it would happen, and probably when it should arrive. You weren’t asking for all these unexpected details. You had a vision.
Then life hands you something you didn’t plan for, and now you’re trying to figure out whether to give it a chance or send it back.
It’s easy to say we’re open to better when we assume better will fit the picture we already have.
Maybe you thought a better job would mean staying in the same field, just with more money and people who know how to act. Then an opportunity comes along in an industry you never considered. It sounds interesting. You might even be good at it. But starting somewhere unfamiliar makes you nervous.
Maybe you imagined a relationship beginning with instant chemistry and a story worth telling the group chat. Then you meet someone you enjoy talking to, and things develop slowly. You’re curious, but you’re also wondering whether it counts if it doesn’t happen the way you always pictured.
Or maybe you thought this season of your life would be busy and exciting. Instead, your circle is smaller, your weekends are quieter, and you finally have enough room to hear yourself think. You appreciate the peace, but part of you still wonders whether you’re missing something.
Sometimes we get so attached to how we expected life to unfold that we struggle to notice what’s actually working.
And I get it. When you’ve spent time wanting something, you become attached to the details. You’ve imagined how you’ll feel once you get there. Letting that picture change can feel like giving something up—even when there’s a real possibility in front of you.
You might need a minute to be disappointed about the plan that didn’t happen. You can take that minute. You don’t have to pretend you never wanted it.
But eventually, it’s worth asking: Am I unhappy with what’s in front of me, or am I uncomfortable because I didn’t expect it?
Those answers can lead you in very different directions.
Of course, something being unexpected doesn’t automatically make it better. You still get to ask questions. You still get to have standards. If a situation requires you to ignore disrespect, talk yourself out of your needs, or constantly explain away things that hurt you, you’re allowed to step back.
Being open doesn’t mean you have to convince yourself to want something you don’t want.
It means giving yourself enough room to look at it honestly.
Does this opportunity fit what matters to you? Do you enjoy the person you’re getting to know? Is this quieter season giving you something you needed? Would you be interested if you weren’t so worried about whether it matched the original plan?
You don’t have to make a lifelong commitment just to explore an option. You can ask about the job. Have another conversation. Try something new. Take a little time to see how you feel before deciding.
Sometimes we want certainty before we’ll even get curious. We want the full explanation, three references, and a preview of how everything turns out. And honestly, I would appreciate that service. 😂 But a lot of decisions have to begin with the information we have today.
Maybe the thing you pictured is still what you want. Looking at other possibilities might help you understand that more clearly. Or you might discover that some of those details mattered less than you thought.
The job title might matter less than having work you enjoy and enough energy left to live your life. The perfect first-date story might matter less than how someone treats you months later. A packed calendar might matter less than having plans you’re actually excited to keep.
You’re allowed to learn that about yourself. You’re allowed to change your mind without treating the earlier version of your dream like a mistake.
This week, pay attention to something you may have dismissed simply because it wasn’t part of the plan. You don’t have to say yes. Just give yourself a chance to see it clearly.
What could you be open to if better didn’t have to look exactly the way you imagined?