When I pictured my 20s, I had a very specific vision.
I thought I would have the degree, the career, the husband, the babies, the stable home, and the kind of confidence that made it look like I knew exactly what I was doing. In my head, adulthood had a neat little timeline. Everything happened in order, nothing took too long, and I definitely was not sitting around wondering when my life was going to start feeling like the life I imagined.
Clearly, younger me had a lot of faith in the plan. 😂
My 20s haven’t looked quite like I imagined they would. I thought this chapter would include more love, stability, certainty, and moments that made me feel like my life was finally coming together.
Instead, this decade has included detours. It has included endings I did not expect, waiting I did not ask for, and seasons where I had more questions than answers. There have been moments when I looked at other people’s lives and wondered how they seemed to arrive at everything I was still praying for.
It is hard not to grieve a life you thought you would have by now.
And I think we should be honest about that.
Sometimes people rush to tell you that everything happens for a reason. They remind you that you are still young, that your time is coming, and that you should be grateful for what you have. None of that is necessarily wrong. But sometimes you still need a minute to admit that this is not how you thought it would look.
You can be grateful and disappointed at the same time. You can believe God is still writing your story and still wish a few chapters had gone differently. You can love the woman you are becoming while feeling tender toward the younger version of you who expected something else.
I used to think being “behind” meant I had done something wrong. Maybe I chose the wrong person. Maybe I stayed too long. Maybe I did not move fast enough. Maybe I should have worked harder, been braver, or made better decisions.
But life is not a group project with one shared due date.
Some people meet their person early. Some people find their calling after several wrong turns. Some people build a family before they build a career. Some people start over at an age they once believed they would have everything figured out.
None of those paths is automatically better. They are simply different.
A life unfolding differently does not mean it is unfolding wrong.
When I stop measuring my life only by what is missing, I can see what this decade has given me too.
It has made me more honest. It has taught me to recognize what I will no longer tolerate. It has pushed me to create, to write, to use my voice, and to take ideas seriously enough to bring them to life. It has shown me that I can survive disappointment without becoming bitter and remain a lover girl without handing my heart to everyone who asks for it.
Would I still like the love, stability, family, and certainty I once pictured? Absolutely. I am reflective, not delusional. 😂
But I am learning that my life does not have to look exactly like the dream I had at eighteen to still become something beautiful.
Maybe my 20s were never supposed to be the finished picture. Maybe they were the messy draft—the chapter where I learned who I am, what I want, and what I refuse to carry into the next version of my life.
I still have hopes for what comes next. I still believe there is love for me, purpose for me, and a life that will make sense of some of the waiting. I just do not want to miss what is happening now because I am too busy comparing it to what I thought would happen then.
So, no, this is not what I wished my 20s looked like.
But I am beginning to believe that different does not mean ruined, delayed does not mean denied, and unfinished does not mean unsuccessful.
My life is still coming together. It just is not following the outline I wrote before I knew who I would become.
—Karinna Sorelle ♥