I believe in being honest. I believe people should be able to talk about their experiences without feeling ashamed, embarrassed, or judged.
But somewhere along the way, the internet confused honesty with giving everybody unlimited access to your business.
And I’m sorry, but some things really do not need to be said. 😂
Social media has made us feel like every thought needs to become a post, every disagreement needs a public statement, and every private moment needs to be turned into content. People will tell you what happened in their relationship, what happened in the bedroom, what their friend said in confidence, and what their family is currently arguing about—all before breakfast.
Meanwhile, I’m sitting there wondering why I needed to know any of this.
There is a difference between being open and oversharing.
Being open is saying, “I went through a difficult relationship, and this is what I learned.”
Oversharing is giving us his full name, where he works, screenshots of the group chat, a detailed timeline, his mother’s maiden name, and a dramatic ten-part video series. 😭
At that point, I’m not hearing your story. I have accidentally been enrolled in an investigation.
And it is not only relationship drama. People share intimate information about their children, their friends, their partners, and relatives who may not have agreed to have their lives discussed publicly.
Just because something happened to you does not always mean every detail belongs only to you.
Sometimes another person’s privacy is sitting inside your story too.
I think we have become so used to documenting everything that we forget we are allowed to experience something without immediately explaining it to strangers. You can have a disagreement without posting a mysterious quote. You can end a friendship without announcing why. You can be happy in a relationship without proving it every day. You can work through something privately without inviting hundreds of opinions into it.
Privacy is not dishonesty.
Keeping something to yourself does not automatically mean you are hiding, pretending, or being fake. Sometimes it means you are protecting something that does not need everybody’s energy on it.
Because once you put something online, you cannot control what happens to it.
People can screenshot it, share it, misunderstand it, laugh at it, use it against you, or remember it long after you have healed and moved forward. You might delete the post tomorrow, but somebody already sent it to the group chat tonight.
The internet does not forget simply because you regret telling it.
I understand why people overshare, though. Sometimes we want to feel seen. Sometimes we need reassurance that we are not wrong, dramatic, or alone. Sometimes we are hurting and want somebody—anybody—to tell us that our feelings make sense.
There is nothing wrong with needing support.
But everybody with access to your page is not automatically part of your support system.
Some people are concerned. Some people are curious. Some people are collecting information. And some people are just being nosy while pretending to care. 😂
That is why discernment matters.
Before sharing something personal, I think it helps to ask: Why am I telling this? Who actually needs to know? Will I still feel comfortable with this being public after the emotion passes? Am I sharing my own experience, or exposing somebody else’s?
And most importantly: Would I say this if I knew it could never be deleted?
Sometimes the answer will still be yes. Your story may help someone, make another person feel less alone, or allow you to speak honestly about something you have carried in silence.
But sometimes the answer will be, “You know what? This can stay in the group chat.”
Or the journal.
Or therapy.
Or between you and God.
Not every thought needs an audience. Not every emotion needs immediate publication. Not every private moment needs to become relatable content.
There is power in being open, but there is also power in knowing what deserves protection.
You do not owe everyone an explanation, a confession, a behind-the-scenes look, or access to the most vulnerable parts of your life.
Some things can be true without becoming public.
Some things can be important without becoming content.
And some things simply do not need to be said.
—Karinna Sorelle ♥