Everybody has opinions. That’s normal.
You’re going to see things you wouldn’t wear, choices you wouldn’t make, relationships you wouldn’t want, and lifestyles that don’t make sense to you. But somewhere along the way, having an opinion started turning into feeling entitled to announce it.
And those are two different things.
Sometimes you can simply think, That’s not for me, and keep moving.
You don’t have to understand why somebody wears a bonnet outside. You don’t have to understand why somebody goes to the store in pajamas. You don’t have to like somebody’s clothes, hairstyle, hobbies, relationship, or the way they choose to live their life.
But if they aren’t hurting anybody, disrespecting anybody, or interfering with your life, why does your disagreement need to become their problem?
That’s something I find myself thinking about a lot.
People will say things like, “They shouldn’t wear that,” “They’re too old for that,” “Why would anybody do that?” or “I could never.”
And sometimes my immediate thought is: Okay… so don’t.
You wouldn’t wear it? Don’t wear it.
You wouldn’t date them? Don’t date them.
You wouldn’t live that way? Then don’t.
But your personal preference is not a rule everybody else agreed to follow.
Too many opinions are presented like moral facts. People take what makes them comfortable and turn it into a standard for everybody else. Then, when someone chooses differently, they treat that person like they did something wrong.
Different does not automatically mean disrespectful, inappropriate, immature, or bad.
Sometimes it just means different.
And even when you genuinely believe somebody is making a choice you would not make, you still have to ask yourself whether your commentary is helpful, necessary, or wanted.
Honesty without care can become cruelty wearing a respectable outfit.
There is a difference between speaking up because someone is being harmed and speaking up because somebody’s choices annoy you.
There is a difference between offering loving advice to a person who trusts you and criticizing a stranger because you feel entitled to their explanation.
And there is a difference between having standards for your own life and trying to use those standards to control everybody else’s.
We would all be better off if we paused before turning every private thought into a public judgment.
Is it kind? Is it useful? Did they ask? Does this affect me? Am I trying to help, or am I trying to make somebody feel small enough to fit inside my idea of what is acceptable?
You do not have to approve of everything. You do not have to pretend you agree. You are allowed to have your own taste, convictions, boundaries, and opinions.
Other people are allowed to have theirs too.
Your opinion can stay an opinion. It doesn’t need to become somebody else’s restriction.
Sometimes maturity looks like knowing when to speak.
And sometimes it looks like thinking, That’s not for me, and continuing with your day.
—Karinna Sorelle ♥